Last weeks I read the book Panzram - a story of a man that is frightening, but very instructive on how your experiences are building your life.
This man didn't have a real family, was sent to a reformatory that thought him the worst things as a young man. The only thing that he learned was that the stronger is right.
And yet somehow, he knew that his way of living was not the "rightful" one.
I started doing time when I was eleven years old and have been doing practically nothing else since then. What time I haven't been in jail I have spent either getting out or getting in again.
Going around killing and destroying everything is "not the right thing". Someone that was born in fear, violence, abuse and poverty, someone that always went towards being a murderer, thief, raped boys, knew that everything that he has done was wrong because he didn't know better, and he felt a rage and hatred to everyone and everything.
it seemed to me and still does now that everything was always right for the one who was the strongest and every single thing that I done was wrong. Everybody said so anyway. But right or wrong I used to get plenty of abuse. Everybody thought it was all right to deceive me, lie to me and kick me around whenever they felt like it, and they felt like it pretty regular. That is the way my life was lived until I was about eleven years old.
I can't help but cite again. Not only this man was full of hatred, he planned a war between the USA and England. Then, when answered what he would do with money:
"There are just two things in this world that count as powerful money and knowledge. If I could get enough money I could buy brains because brains are for sale. I would get brainy chemists and I would have them prepare me a lot of poison gas and germs. With these I would be able to exterminate a great mass of human beings. Then I would kill myself."
The book is as interesting as scary. It really blows your mind how people can become when life is horrible. And when you think your life was shit, think about that it could go very, very worse.
Then when there's someone that you really don't understand, someone that is behaving differently from your concept of good, it might be the case that he/she had an awful past, something that no-one would forget.
Try to understand, check what’s your goal and don’t overcharge their psyche.
Learn from bad events
In case of a really sad, really painful event, it's always good to study why the event came to be by analyzing the life of the subject. Not for just interest, mainly to prevent to happen again in the future.
What I mean by this: there’s a victim of a murder: it’s really helpful to understand what was the life of the victim and the murderer, what their beliefs were and what was their past.
This applies also for you: you’re a victim of something that for you or the public opinion is negative, bad. Why you arrived at that moment? How much was because of the perpetrator, and how much was on you? The key here is to understand that this is for you to don’t repeat errors. Something really helpful is the self-authoring suite: you can write extensively about your past, present and future to build a better persona.
Ok, I’m done. This was a different digital note, hope you enjoyed it I thank you to have reached here. 🤗
Have a nice Sunday and a nice life ❤️.